I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
