I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
