I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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