just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
