He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize