if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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