when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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