i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
