I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
