Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
