im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
