yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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