Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
