You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
