I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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