Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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