No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
