My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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