Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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