I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
