ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
