Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
