you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
this is an emotional support booty call
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
