Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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