So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
