you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
