I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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