She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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