I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am available for nakedness
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
