now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
