Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
