Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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