Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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