just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
