Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
