Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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