Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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