Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yo dont text me then not text me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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