i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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