Welp...herpes.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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