I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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