so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
