Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
