your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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