I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
