Whod you bang
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
