You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
