i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.