Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.