did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.