his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia