How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.