whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
