Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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