My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
