4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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