Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
