I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
