Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
