Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
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I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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