I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
