when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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