I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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