alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
