i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
