Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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