Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize