This girl is more easily done than said...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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