what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
