come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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